Home

Would you like to be free from the pain, fear and discomfort of pregnancy?

You’re 8 weeks pregnant and already your body is beginning to ache. You didn’t expect pregnancy to be so uncomfortable so soon. You’ve got morning sickness, moodiness AND a constant ache running from your back to your belly. You don’t even feel like yourself anymore and you can’t understand what is happening to you.

Everyone keeps saying things like “how wonderful” and “you’re glowing”, but you feel awful. In fact, you don’t even want to get out of bed most days. You know that there are months more of this ahead of you. How will you ever make it?

You’re suffering in silence and wondering whether what is happening to you is normal.

That’s what I did. In fact, many women do but we quietly put up with the pain, fear and the depression for 9 long months.

But you don’t have to put up with it.

Take time out for you and get support from someone who’s been there before you, someone who understands and someone who can help.

Let me ease your pain with a gentle massage that will feel as secure as a great big hug. Let me ease your mind by sharing the emotional load you are bearing. Together we can get through this.

Just pick up the phone or send me an email. I’ll take good care of you.

A baby shower, yip and yay,
So many games we will play
Like guess the gender, name and weight
Not to mention the birth date.
With cups of tea and a nibbles too
And something special for your do
The Mummyseuss and massage chair
Gives your event some extra flair
It’s all set up in a flash
And the highlight of your bash
All your guests line up to wait
As you’ve beat them to the gate
If this sounds like just the thing
Give The Mummyseuss a ring!
Your baby’s crying and it won’t stop
You’re feeling like a complete flop
At 4pm every day
You Angel seems to run away
And in its place a grump’s appeared
with increasing noise as you feared
But don’t panic, there is a way
To bring the angel back to play
A simple trick and colic’s gone
To give relief before the dawn.
The Mummyseuss will show you how
And give you back those smiles right now.
A baby massage lessons what you need
Give her a call with your plead.
Another Midwife, you did greet
Is there anymore to meet?
The same person you do crave
A familiar face and familiar wave.
This is normal you’ve been told
Yet you’ve not been completely sold.
The Mummyseuss has just the ticket
For when you think it’s just not cricket
Do you have unanswered questions?
How about these for suggestions?
She has a regular massage plan
For your whole pregnancy it will span
And after when you’ve had your bub
She’ll come and give your back a rub.
This is not at all allusive
But very special and exclusive
Take the time to talk to Emma
And she will help with your dilemma
To help you with your broken slumber
Pick up the phone and dial her number
A baby is your big, big quest
 and time is ticking, not the best.
 Prince Charming really is a wonder
 To bad you're growling like the thunder
You feel like you've become a troll
 and panic starts to take its toll
 Now here comes yet another cycle
 and once again seeing Dr Michael.
The stress and strain and needles combines
All to see those two blue lines

With stressing, panicking, you are bound
To start asking all around.
A massage is the thing you need,
To improve your chances and succeed.
The Mummyseuss is the one for you
And you won’t find her at the zoo.
In Keilor Downs or at your place,
With massage table and her case.
She’ll soothe your body and make you smile,
Now find the phone and start to dial!
A brand new baby, a brand new day,
Lots of fun and work and play
That’s what they told you in a book
What really happens? Come take a look.
The washing forms a great big mountain,
Can you put the dishes in a fountain?
3am? Is that a time?
What’s in the nappy? Is that slime?
A shower would be really nice,
I think I’ve had one, maybe twice.
My back is aching and it’s sore
Sometimes parenting is a chore.
Then your baby gives a grin
And something bubbles from within.
A break is just the thing
To make you body smile and sing
A massage for all your stress and strains
To banish all your aches and pains.
Who knew you’ll feel so good
Even when didn’t think you should.
The Mummyseuss is just the one
Call her and to you she’ll run.

You give them cuddles, hugs and kisses
Here’s what you asked for,
Dreams and wishes.
Wow, you’re pregnant! Yes it’s true,
So much is happening to you.
There’s a baby kicking in your tum,
And now there’s sharp pain in your bum.
Wait just a minute, don’t be blue,
A massage is the thing for you!
The Mummyseuss will save the day,
A booking then you’ll shout HOORAY!
You’ll feel happy, the blues have cleared,
The nasty pain has disappeared.
Why are you waiting? It’s not hard.
Pick up the phone, here’s my card!
A baby is your big, big quest
and time is ticking, not the best.
Prince Charming really is a wonder
To bad you're growling like the thunder
You feel like you've become a troll
and panic starts to take its toll
Now here comes another cycle
and once again see Dr Michael.
The stress and strain and needles combines
All to see those two blue lines

A brand new baby, a brand new day,
Lots of fun and work and play
That’s what they told you in a book
What really happens? Come take a look.
The washing forms a great big mountain,
Can you put the dishes in a fountain?
3am? Is that a time?
What’s in the nappy? Is that slime?
A shower would be really nice,
I think I’ve had one, maybe twice.
Your back is aching and it’s sore
Sometimes parenting is a chore.
Then your baby gives a grin
And something bubbles from within.
You give them cuddles, hugs and kisses
Here’s what you asked for,
Dreams and wishes.
Sometimes pregnancy can be taxing
Especially when you want Relaxing
You get asked how you’re coping
When you want to stay home moping
You’re bodies aching and feeling yuck
You’re even waddling like a duck
The Mummyseuss is here for you
To get you through this big to-do
Plus she’s a mum, she understands
And give a massage with gentle hands.
She’ll welcome you with a smile
Now’s the time to start to dial
She’s a mum, she understands.
A massage from her gentle hands.
It’s school holidays, oh good grief!
This chaos wasn’t in the brief.
If you hear Mum one more time
Or the doorbell start to chime
The screaming, fighting and the nagging
Your mood is well and truly sagging
Your nerves are fraying at the edges
You think of hiding in the hedges,
And then idea comes to mind
No better concept you did find
To The Mummyseuss you do go
She understands it all, you know
She’ll sit you in a quiet room
And scare away the doom and gloom
You’ll feel refreshed and all brand new
Call her now, and she’ll see you!
Dreaming of a brand new table
Something swish and not a fable
Up and down it does glide
A very gentle quiet ride
Comfy rest and magic hands
Drifting off to dreamy lands
Wouldn’t you love to be
The first to try this out, agree?
Pre-book you massage and you will see
A very special gift from me!
Donate here to take your place
Then keep your eyes on this space.
I really want some peace and quiet
To escape the daily riot.
I lock myself inside the loo
But that doesn’t stop the zoo
In they come with all their noise
Plus they bring in all their toys.
And when I try to have a shower
Someone gets into the flour
Next thing I know there in there too
And having a great big blue
It’s too hot now it’s too cold
The soaps smells funny, so I’m told
When did I last shave my legs
Instead of reading about green eggs
And when I stumble into bed
I find myself seeing red
They’ve found their way into there
Taking up all the room to spare
Then I come up with a thought
The Mummyseuss is just the sort
She will calm the nerves and soul
And help me gain back my control
She has a space that’s just for me
And she’s a massage devotee
I will call her really quick
Or email her with a click
She fix me up and make me happy
Now’s your turn, make it snappy!
Your partner’s pregnant, Whoopee Doo!
But now she’s feeling pretty blue,
One minute she’s smiles, very happy,
Next she’s crying, feeling crappy,
Don’t know how to fix this slump?
In case she then becomes a grump
Wow! An idea starts to form
Something fuzzy, something warm.
A mummy massage is the answer
A little treat, a bit of pamper
The Mummyseuss knows just the trick
Pick up the phone, call her quick!