The Mummyseuss - Pregnancy and Post Natal Massage
Massaging Mum from Bump to Bub
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Fun and stuff and tattoos

By The Mummyseuss on March 19, 2013

Hello. On the weekend just past I took myself to a small town just out from where I live, to learn how to do henna or what some call mehndi. It’s using henna paste to draw temporary tattoos on the body. FUN! It’s something I’ve been wanting to learn more about for ages and as […]

Posted in Mums, The Mummyseuss, time out, Uncategorized | Tagged bellies, belly, class, friends, fun, hands, henna, meeting, mehndi, mums, plans, pregnancy, pregnant, rituals, stuff I've wanted to do, tattoos, The Mummyseuss, traditions, vision boards, work, workshops | Leave a response

5 Common Pains of Pregnancy

and how to treat them






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  • A baby shower, yip and yay,
    So many games we will play
    Like guess the gender, name and weight
    Not to mention the birth date.
    With cups of tea and a nibbles too
    And something special for your do
    The Mummyseuss and massage chair
    Gives your event some extra flair
    It’s all set up in a flash
    And the highlight of your bash
    All your guests line up to wait
    As you’ve beat them to the gate
    If this sounds like just the thing
    Give The Mummyseuss a ring!
  • Your baby’s crying and it won’t stop
    You’re feeling like a complete flop
    At 4pm every day
    You Angel seems to run away
    And in its place a grump’s appeared
    with increasing noise as you feared
    But don’t panic, there is a way
    To bring the angel back to play
    A simple trick and colic’s gone
    To give relief before the dawn.
    The Mummyseuss will show you how
    And give you back those smiles right now.
    A baby massage lessons what you need
    Give her a call with your plead.
  • Another Midwife, you did greet
    Is there anymore to meet?
    The same person you do crave
    A familiar face and familiar wave.
    This is normal you’ve been told
    Yet you’ve not been completely sold.
    The Mummyseuss has just the ticket
    For when you think it’s just not cricket
    Do you have unanswered questions?
    How about these for suggestions?
    She has a regular massage plan
    For your whole pregnancy it will span
    And after when you’ve had your bub
    She’ll come and give your back a rub.
    This is not at all allusive
    But very special and exclusive
    Take the time to talk to Emma
    And she will help with your dilemma
    To help you with your broken slumber
    Pick up the phone and dial her number
  • A baby is your big, big quest
    
and time is ticking, not the best.
    
Prince Charming really is a wonder
    
To bad you're growling like the thunder
    You feel like you've become a troll
    
and panic starts to take its toll
    
Now here comes yet another cycle
    
and once again seeing Dr Michael.
    The stress and strain and needles combines
    All to see those two blue lines

    With stressing, panicking, you are bound
    To start asking all around.
    A massage is the thing you need,
    To improve your chances and succeed.
    The Mummyseuss is the one for you
    And you won’t find her at the zoo.
    In Keilor Downs or at your place,
    With massage table and her case.
    She’ll soothe your body and make you smile,
    Now find the phone and start to dial!
  • A brand new baby, a brand new day,
    Lots of fun and work and play
    That’s what they told you in a book
    What really happens? Come take a look.
    The washing forms a great big mountain,
    Can you put the dishes in a fountain?
    3am? Is that a time?
    What’s in the nappy? Is that slime?
    A shower would be really nice,
    I think I’ve had one, maybe twice.
    My back is aching and it’s sore
    Sometimes parenting is a chore.
    Then your baby gives a grin
    And something bubbles from within.
    A break is just the thing
    To make you body smile and sing
    A massage for all your stress and strains
    To banish all your aches and pains.
    Who knew you’ll feel so good
    Even when didn’t think you should.
    The Mummyseuss is just the one
    Call her and to you she’ll run.

    You give them cuddles, hugs and kisses
    Here’s what you asked for,
    Dreams and wishes.
  • Wow, you’re pregnant! Yes it’s true,
    So much is happening to you.
    There’s a baby kicking in your tum,
    And now there’s sharp pain in your bum.
    Wait just a minute, don’t be blue,
    A massage is the thing for you!
    The Mummyseuss will save the day,
    A booking then you’ll shout HOORAY!
    You’ll feel happy, the blues have cleared,
    The nasty pain has disappeared.
    Why are you waiting? It’s not hard.
    Pick up the phone, here’s my card!
  • A baby is your big, big quest
    and time is ticking, not the best.
    Prince Charming really is a wonder
    To bad you're growling like the thunder
    You feel like you've become a troll
    and panic starts to take its toll
    Now here comes another cycle
    and once again see Dr Michael.
    The stress and strain and needles combines
    All to see those two blue lines

    A brand new baby, a brand new day,
    Lots of fun and work and play
    That’s what they told you in a book
    What really happens? Come take a look.
    The washing forms a great big mountain,
    Can you put the dishes in a fountain?
    3am? Is that a time?
    What’s in the nappy? Is that slime?
    A shower would be really nice,
    I think I’ve had one, maybe twice.
    Your back is aching and it’s sore
    Sometimes parenting is a chore.
    Then your baby gives a grin
    And something bubbles from within.
    You give them cuddles, hugs and kisses
    Here’s what you asked for,
    Dreams and wishes.
  • Sometimes pregnancy can be taxing
    Especially when you want Relaxing
    You get asked how you’re coping
    When you want to stay home moping
    You’re bodies aching and feeling yuck
    You’re even waddling like a duck
    The Mummyseuss is here for you
    To get you through this big to-do
    Plus she’s a mum, she understands
    And give a massage with gentle hands.
    She’ll welcome you with a smile
    Now’s the time to start to dial
  • She’s a mum, she understands.
    A massage from her gentle hands.
  • It’s school holidays, oh good grief!
    This chaos wasn’t in the brief.
    If you hear Mum one more time
    Or the doorbell start to chime
    The screaming, fighting and the nagging
    Your mood is well and truly sagging
    Your nerves are fraying at the edges
    You think of hiding in the hedges,
    And then idea comes to mind
    No better concept you did find
    To The Mummyseuss you do go
    She understands it all, you know
    She’ll sit you in a quiet room
    And scare away the doom and gloom
    You’ll feel refreshed and all brand new
    Call her now, and she’ll see you!
  • Dreaming of a brand new table
    Something swish and not a fable
    Up and down it does glide
    A very gentle quiet ride
    Comfy rest and magic hands
    Drifting off to dreamy lands
    Wouldn’t you love to be
    The first to try this out, agree?
    Pre-book you massage and you will see
    A very special gift from me!
    Donate here to take your place
    Then keep your eyes on this space.
  • I really want some peace and quiet
    To escape the daily riot.
    I lock myself inside the loo
    But that doesn’t stop the zoo
    In they come with all their noise
    Plus they bring in all their toys.
    And when I try to have a shower
    Someone gets into the flour
    Next thing I know there in there too
    And having a great big blue
    It’s too hot now it’s too cold
    The soaps smells funny, so I’m told
    When did I last shave my legs
    Instead of reading about green eggs
    And when I stumble into bed
    I find myself seeing red
    They’ve found their way into there
    Taking up all the room to spare
    Then I come up with a thought
    The Mummyseuss is just the sort
    She will calm the nerves and soul
    And help me gain back my control
    She has a space that’s just for me
    And she’s a massage devotee
    I will call her really quick
    Or email her with a click
    She fix me up and make me happy
    Now’s your turn, make it snappy!
  • Your partner’s pregnant, Whoopee Doo!
    But now she’s feeling pretty blue,
    One minute she’s smiles, very happy,
    Next she’s crying, feeling crappy,
    Don’t know how to fix this slump?
    In case she then becomes a grump
    Wow! An idea starts to form
    Something fuzzy, something warm.
    A mummy massage is the answer
    A little treat, a bit of pamper
    The Mummyseuss knows just the trick
    Pick up the phone, call her quick!

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